your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
