The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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