i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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