: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
