i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
