if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
