Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
