look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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