do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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