If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
