frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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