dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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