hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
