dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
