Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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