You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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