tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
So squirting runs in the family.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm too high and old for this...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
