I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
