Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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