Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
