Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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