jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
