Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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