Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
