Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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