Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
