Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
