life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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