your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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