My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
