whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I need a beard to bite.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
