no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
