She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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