I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
