I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
