i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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