my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
