Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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