i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
