i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
