There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
