There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
