soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
