Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
