he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
