i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
