My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
