At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I love having hate sex.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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