he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
