R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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